We’re friends, right? Over the years I have tried to treat you kindly. Always wearing a good supportive bra when I exercised. Dressing you up in a black lace push up number to celebrate special occasions. Popping Motrin when you are uncomfortably sore from water retention once a month. Checking you for odd lumps and bumps. Allowing a good share of men to fondle you.
So, why are you letting me down when I need you the most?
If I’m correct, your primary purpose is not to be the best accessory to my outfits or get me free drinks at a bar. Although you are very good at both these things! Your purpose is to provide milk to The Babe, and lately you have not been producing. You were doing such a great job until last week. I know, I know, you hate the breast milk pump. Me, too! I agree it’s impersonal, uncomfortable, loud and plastic. But, it’s the only way. Sorry. The Babe needs milk, and don’t think you can get off the hook by suggesting she drink formula. We both know that is not going to happen. Remember all the puke when we tried that last time?
Be a friend, suck it up (pun intended) and start producing more milk. I promise to take you on shopping spree at Victoria’s Secret after The Babe’s first birthday.
Xoxo,
Amy
I'm usually on the phone when I pump.
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